How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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