I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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