Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
