So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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