Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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