i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
