her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
my poor anus
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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