Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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