how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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