He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
