And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
