At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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