I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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