just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
