I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
