She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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