Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
