Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
