Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
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