Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
last night I used snow as a chaser
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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