Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
