Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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