Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
