So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
