found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
soo... how was my night?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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