If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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