Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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