STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
