I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize