So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
