Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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