He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Randomize
