I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
