I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize