life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
