that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
We are two peas in an std pod
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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