when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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