At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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