Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
