I just made out with a guy for $7.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
