Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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