where am i from again
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
