I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
