I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
