Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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