What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
