I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
