Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
