some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
