"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
