its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
