Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
