So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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