we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
farters have to be the big spoon...
It was confusing and full of hummus
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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