If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
