kristin has been a bad kristin
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
