I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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