Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
