Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
