ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
well, you know. whores of a feather.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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