i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I need water and some morals
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
