I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
