I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
