She announced her abortion via fbk
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize