"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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