R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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