I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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