you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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