Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
