I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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