At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
