Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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