grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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