i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
