You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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