The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize