I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
