Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I wanna passion pit in your ass
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
