i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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